Happy Birthday, Kashmala!

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm blessed with three precious niblings--two nephews and a niece. They're pieces of my heart, and the happiness and joy that have come to my world and to my life because of them have been such that I cannot describe them in words. I've tried many times and have failed. When my first nephew was a baby, I used to write love poems for him. I stopped as my feelings grew deeper and deeper for him. For Kashmala, I haven't been able to write anything at all. For the littlest one, same - nothing. They're so beautiful, they're so blessed, they're such a joy. They bring noor to every home they occupy, especially my parents', and without them, we might as well not exist.

May God grant these three little creatures full, healthy, and happy lives that are blessed with excitement (good excitement), love, and peace. May they all grow into beautiful people (revolutionaries) who will bring positive change into the lives and communities they come across. May they give back to this world in (positively) memorable ways. Aameen.

So it just occurred to me that I could actually write letters to these itty bitty creatures that they could actually read later on, especially when they face some hardship and need a reminder that they matter, that they are loved, that they are someone's life. Since it's Kashmala's birthday--and since I'm prolly just being biased because she lives with my family, so is closest to me physically--we'll start with her.

Dear Kashmala,

Not a thing in this world exists that doesn't know how much I love you. I'm currently in Oman, as you know, and everyone has heard of you, seen your photos, heard you sing "Let It Go," and no one who's heard of you has not seen the depth of my love for you. Day by day, you become my everything. I live far away from you, and it all--all this learning, this life, this success, all of it--feels useless to me only because I don't get to see you smile, laugh, run, yell, get angry, annoy me, fight with me, etc. every single day. I would not be exaggerating if I said I miss you and think about you every minute. The times I'm down, the times I feel most unloved, the times I hurt most, I think of you and I cannot help but smile. In such times, although frankly, in all times, you become my reason to move on, my reason to continue, my reason to look forward to the next day. You give me hope. You are my light. You are the noor (divine light) of our house. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life, and you mean so much to me I feel like crying just seeing you. I want to spend my entire life hugging you, loving you. I want to make sure your every need is fulfilled, and I need you to know that I'll always, always prioritize you over everything else in my life. I need you to know that I will always be a source of love and hope for you. You have taught me how important love is. You've given meaning to the concepts of love and beauty (both physically and metaphorically) for me.

You at a few months old. Those feminist eyes!

When I pray for you, my lips cannot move. I have so many beautiful wishes and prayers for you I don't know where to begin, and I reckon God knows what I want for you and so I don't need to say anything out loud to God. But ohhh how I do anyway. I wish you so much goodness in a world that reeks of violence, of hatred, of misery, of arrogance, of many other things bad. May you be the light that guides everyone towards hope, peace, love. May you never suffer from any pain or loss, and may you never be deprived of anything and anyone you love. May every wish of yours come true (provided it won't bring you any pain), and may you be blessed with the courage and strength to change whatever negative befalls on you, your family, your other loved ones, your community, your nation, your world.

I keep melting!!

You at about 4 years old. MashaAllah. God bless you.

You're turning 5, and I have no idea how this is happening. I was present during your birth, and I remember your determination (long story - I'll tell it to you when you're old enough, although I've told it to you several times before already and you've laughed as if you understand, but I'll tell it to you many times again and again, inshaAllah). I remember what a feisty girl you were the moment you were born, and I pray that you always remain that way so. And suddenly, here you are at singing your favorite Disney song "Let It Go" (from "Frozen") like the rock star that you are. I still have no idea how you went from the photo above at a few months old to this one here, at a couple of months before turning 5. May God continue to bless you.

I love you. I love you so much more than these words might assure you of. One day you'll grow up and know this, that you are loved infinitely, incredibly, and unconditionally. When you grow up, you'll also come across people (people you will love dearly) whose love for you will be conditional - something that'll be based on whether you respect them of not, whether you obey them or not, whether you follow their belief systems or not. But amongst these people am I, and I love you unconditionally. Nothing you, anyone else, or I do can change this. I love you.