Have you ever met someone who just never gets angry and seems to get along well with everyone? Someone who seems to love and respect everyone? And have you ever wondered how she/he does that? Well, I have this friend who went to Morocco a couple of years ago, and she says she met this one person there who's just like that someone who *never* gets angry at anyone and gets along with everyone. She says she asked him how that is possible, and here's his response (rough):
Every time I feel like I'm about to get frustrated with or angry at someone, I ask myself, "What problem do I have that's allowing me to get angry / frustrated right now with this person? What good and important quality do I lack that would help me deal with this issue better so that I don't get angry?"
Can you imagine thinking the same way every single time you were around someone you couldn't stand? To think that the problem lies not in the other person but in *you*? How humble is that? I'm not suggesting that we be happy all the time, because being happy isn't necessary for being able to tolerate everyone around you, but I'm merely suggesting that we try our best to assume that we're the problem, that there's a solution in us, that we're the reason we're angry -- not that the other side, the other person is the problem or the reason we're not able to be happy. If you can't stand someone because that person is just so annoying, there's a solution -- and chances are, you can't stand her/him just because you're an impatient little soul, and that's a problem, dear reader! But fortunately, the solution is right there in front of you. If you're constantly annoyed by someone because that person's done you some harm or wronged you in any way, there is a solution for this, too! (Keep thinking and you'll realize it, rest assured.) And so on. You get the point, yeah?
Besides, think about how you feel around someone who is just tolerant of you, can treat you with respect, doesn't get annoyed with you, etc., etc. versus someone who you can soooo clearly tell can't stand you! We all love the former person, don't we? Or think of that person who just never complains about anything as opposed to that other person who complains about every single thing in the world. Which one can you tolerate? Well, hopefully, now you can tolerate both - but I meant before you read this :)
So, yeah. I'm trying this these days. And it's making *me* feel really good. I mean, even though I'm doing it for myself and not for anyone else, it makes me feel so accomplished! But in the long run, really, it's these kinds of accomplishment that really matter, the kind that assure you that you have improved in personality and character (not to imply by any means that I have improved, since I'm only trying), not any other kind, I say. Think of it as ... trying to do some good for someone out there who has some "problem" because of which no one else can stand her/him, and that person feels really happy around you and appreciates you so much because you're able to let them be who they are and not complain about them. This, I'm learning, is an excellent way to teach someone else a good lesson because chances are, that person's gonna wanna strive to be like you and may ask you what quality you have that allows you to be this accepting and humble.
That should be all for now, folks. But I'm thinking of creating a series of such wisdom (speaking of which ... oh dang ...! I still have that series of research ideas to complete :S And that other one I started like 2 years ago on the stimulating classes I've taken ... ~sighs~ Well, I'm in no rush, and neither are you. :) Yes?)
Take care, best wishes to all, and remember: be humble! Try to be nice to everyone, and whenever that doesn't seem possible, ask yourself what is wrong with you that's not letting you be nice to that specific person.