Saturday, March 31, 2012

On being Confused

You know how people will sometimes say, either about you or about someone else, “You/she/he is so confused”? Yeah, well, people often assume I am confused because I have multiple serious academic/research interests and passions. They overlap significantly (all are tied to gender issues and gender relations), but many people find this problematic for a reason I can’t understand and have no desire to understand. Me, I don't understand why my interests or what I do is any of their business and why it should bother them, but I'll refrain from assuming what their rationales must be, though I do have an idea.

But anyway, so ... I’ve also learned that people will “accuse” you of being confused if you disagree with them or with mainstream thinking. And it is in times like these that when I get told, “Okay, you’re just a confused soul” that I feel so happy with myself. It’s not that I enjoy confusing people, but it’s that I’m clearly different from them, and I love that. I don’t want to be like anyone else. I love myself. And I am not ashamed to be “different,” whatever that means.

But what the heck does it mean to be confused anyway? To me, it’s a great thing to be confused. It means you’re learning and growing, both of which are a part of life and should be (and I think are) concomitants of each other: you can’t learn and not grow; you can’t (okay, you shouldn’t) grow and not learn. To be confused is to acknowledge that you’re a being in the making, a process, you learn and you realize you have faults and you want to rectify them and hence yourself. To be confused is to realize that you have options, that you are free, that you have power, that you have agency. So choose for yourself. To be confused is to understand that life is not all that simple, that there are many hard decisions to be made in life and they sometimes come with harsh trade-offs, and you’re confused because you are wise and mature enough to know that you can’t take the easy way out, that you can’t make just any decision and live with it.
In short, to be confused is to be human.

So, next time someone tells you that you’re confused, be grateful! It means you’re learning and growing and it’s showing! *smile*

Aaaand I just found this great video that represents a part of my message to all, especially women:


  1. Aww I love this and yes Im happy to be confused as well. I struggled a bit with being confused (esp when i compared myself to many of my colleagues who seem to have a well articulated opinion on anything and everything!) until a couple of my professors/supervisors showed me the merits of being confused! :-)Im a learner too!

  2. Thanks, folks! You're all too kind :)
    Pri, seeeee, it's great being confused! Besides, who's NOT confused? lol.

  3. I LOVED this post. I get so many comments like this, especially since I stopped believing in religion altogether. "Oh, she's just confused, she really does believe in God..." *sigh*


Dare to opine :)

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