Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Apogee of My Being

When will I reach the apogee of my being?
When will I feel myself welcome in the circle of sages,
Environed by ambrosial perspectives,
Unencumbered with asinine notions of forbidden and permitted,
When, ultimately, everything is forbidden and everything permitted,
It must be in someone’s Book.
But these thoughts confound my mind
And deny me my right to my own psyche—
And I ache to know,
When will I reach the apogee of my being?
So that I may spurn these frivolous discourses held among the
Unlettered masses inside me and around me?
When will I reach the apogee of my being?
So that I can recline on the cushions of contentment,
Far, far away from this masquerade
That obliges me to dissemble my very being,
But I wait to reach the apogee of my being
So that I may embrace myself
And make it known to the worlds,
The world of the forbidden and the world of the permitted,
This is me—no more facades.
My once-thirsty anima has unearthed its roots,
And found its companions.
But rapt in these moments of respite,
I have arrived yet again in a desert.
Alas, when will I reach the apogee of my being?

~ Qrratugai
~ March 28th 2010


  1. What can I say Shehnaz
    your desire
    to reach apogee
    made me inspire
    You want to reach the apogee of your being,,
    you want flight
    a solo flight
    towards the farthest point
    the extreme tip between heaven and earth
    where sanity sages with petalise faces blooms
    leaving beyond
    the dust of forbidden and permitted
    You want to reach the apogee of your being
    so that to get rid of two spheres of unlettered, confused, foggy,
    the less weighty,
    the more fatty (heavy)
    one inside you,
    one outside you
    You want to reach the apogee of your being
    so that you may rest into the state of being contented
    where the masky human's obligations
    to hide (yourself) under false semblance or seeing
    have no shape no shadow.
    But (as you said) you have to wait to reach the apogee of your being
    prior to that
    you have to dive deep
    into the depth of yourself
    to discover
    ''me'' inside ''I''
    ''I'' is energy
    ''me'' is spirit,,,
    Soul intuit spirit
    spirit intuit energy
    energy is the Big Bang,(The ''Kon Fayakoon'')
    the cause,
    the origin
    of universe,
    the home of homosepian,
    the one who forbid,
    the one who permit,
    But suddenly this ''me'' converted into '' I ''
    and ''I '' being a subject
    negates ''me'' (being an object)
    and you found yourself
    again in a sandy desert,
    But remember,
    the solitary desert rose
    that dancing
    alone in the sand,
    bunch of roses in a garden
    has answers
    to many queries
    to many curiosities
    raised by unlettered masses
    inside you
    outside you
    ((yau da gulab makh che hkara kom jawaboona de,, neshta yau hm neshta da mantaq pa kitabuno ke…Ghani Khan))

    ,just plunge into your inner
    and find your apogee
    your zenith
    being a ''me''

    The forbid, the permit couple of Book
    put a curtain between dark and Light
    option lies in your hand
    with your psyche
    analyze it,
    synthesize it
    to embrace dark
    or Light,
    no force
    no conversion
    no convince
    Noble step,
    Noble path
    Evil step
    Evil path,
    The Book is lovely
    the reader is ugly
    the translator is ugly
    the interpreter is ugly……………(By ''me'')

  2. Nawaz!!! Even *I* hadn't understood this poem to that extent -- and to think I am the one who wrote it!

    Thank you VERY much for clarifying that for all those who might not have understood it as much (including me!)! Some of the points in the poem, you interpreted them SO well I'm amazed! To be honest, I thought that the line about "unlettered masses inside me and around me" would be completely misunderstoood and would make sound all arrogant and stuff. But, no, they don't! Your thoughts about them are absolutely accurate, if not MORE than accurate! (And that was why I had to make sure to include "inside me" *before* "around me," you see? You got that, and it pleases me to see that!!! Thank you! :D:D)

    Oh, and can I share this response-poem of yours on a forum where I posted this poem?

    Deeeeeeeeeera, dera manana!!!

  3. hmmmmmmmm :)
    Yes you can share this response where u like..

    Thank you da swat balbale for ur kind iman che mystic mystic shawe ye kha jenay.........You know Sheh naaz,sta da poem zama zra ta der zyat prewate o ,balki dase ogana che ghopa shawe om pake(plunge) ..i loved it realy....da nar lor da domra touchy fity dictions de kom zay na de khabara PANJA melao ka......i would strongly tell Do write whenever u get mood...Ilhami mood ke poetry che ke nu Apogee ba te raozee...
    baqi maze kawa...Da time Buner k nast ym ,,musam yakh yakh day,au da song auram" jwand au qarar ,or au oba de,na ba yau zai she ,na yau zai kege".....bus dagha qisey de gula...
    Big Bang manana...:)

    Quran say READ,,so read by heart by reason and get inspired but dnt dissolve/assimmilate ur ME your identity being Shehnaz....EnJoy

  4. lol. Manana, Nawaz Khana!

    Not sure about the mystic part just yet. Something about mysticism really does fascinate me, though, and I'm going to have to study it to figure out what exactly is so appealing about it.

    But I have a feeling I'm a mixture of ALL types, perhaps even including the extremist sort in one way.

  5. Okay, I dont know half of those words!! Whyyyy must you do this to us jaan :( but its a beautiful poem! You're so talented and I'm so blessed to know you. :-*


Dare to opine :)

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