I don't know what is good parenting and what's bad parenting (rather, I don't think I have the right to decide that) because I'm not a parent myself. But as I watch my friends and acquaintances, male and female, become new parents and as I watch them grow in the process, I make certain promises to myself every now and then that consist of things I swear never to do with my own kids and others that I swear to do with them. I realize, yeah, that these ideas may/will change with time, and I understand that I might change my mind completely once the time comes for me to practice parenthood. I'll add to the list with time, but for now, the one that's been bothering me a lot lately about many, many parents I know, I'd like to discuss it here. What instigated this, you might ask? Oh simple: The fact that some parents abandon their children, or send them over to other people (be they close family) to raise them instead of taking the responsibilities themselves, just because they're working! And this particular case I know of, their jobs are such that I tell you one of them earning money is good enough for the other not to work. But good lord, freaking don't have kids if others have to raise them for you, damnit!!!!
When I become a mother, I will ensure that either my partner or I stay home with the kid(s). Hopefully, he won't be a jerk and go, "Of course it has to be you - you're a woman." (In that case, then I wouldn't marry him, or agree to have children, if I's married to him already. Yeah.) It really won't matter to me if it's he or I not working, but one of us WILL be at home to be with the kids. Sure, if my siblings or parents or his siblings live so close to us that it'll be convenient enough for us to drop our kids off at their place, then all the more better! But even then, I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. Aaaannnd if his parents are living with us (which will be the case if they're alive, especially if they're old) and we get along very well, then that'd be an ideal situation. But let's not dream here. Let's assume, instead, that no close, dependable relatives of ours live nearby to take care of our kids while we're at work.
So, you see, I do not support the idea that both parents should work outside the home, except in the case specified above.That's not to deny today's demand that both parents work if they are to live a comfortable lifestyle, but I honestly don't think a "comfortable" life is worth pursuing at the expense of the early years of your children. I can't imagine how any parent can live with this, and I pray to God I don't become one of them.
I also don't believe in daycare/childcare. What on earth?! How would I leave my kids in a strange place where good hygiene is known not to be practiced. Again, this is not to deny that many parents today are compelled to do this because they are not lucky enough to have close family members to take care of their kids while they're at work and because their circumstances are such that they are required to work. But I doubt this is the case with all the parents who leave their kids at daycare centers and all the parents who work. I know of a few myself: They work just because they want to earn their own paycheck. I know that feeling's awesome, and I love it, too, but I would hope that a husband or wife, someone you commit to for life, would be someone who would never give you a chance to feel like you're dependent on them just because you don't work.
Hence, contrary to what many people, including many feminists, believe, women who choose to stay home with their kids aren't "oppressed" or whatever. I don't speak for all here, obviously, and I certainly don't mean to suggest that I will for certain not be working when I have children--but I can't respect families who abandon their kids for the sake of money. I acknowledge that some of them are forced to do that, but I think that's when we need to do some self-reflections: What exactly is the purpose of our having children if we can't raise them ourselves?
'Course, it's totally possible that when the time comes, I will not remember any of this ... but let's hope I'll be better than that :)