Thursday, April 25, 2013

Muslim Women Marrying Non-Muslim Men

If you're not on my Facebook, you're missing out on this, so I'll share it here :)

Talk about the need for re-evaluating classical/medieval rules on whom Muslim women can and can't marry:
In Canada, over 40% Muslim women marry non-Muslim men, half of whom never convert to Islam (Muslim Women in America: The Challenge of Islamic Identity Today by Yvonne Haddad, p. 86)--and why should they have to, right? When women's insight, experiences, and voices are completely ignored in the development of law or of a certain guideline *about them*, what you get is rules that eventually harm them and disempower them... until they can't take it anymore and have to "rebel." From a practical point of view, the situation in the West especially, where Muslims are a minority, is such that interfaith marriages become sort of a necessity to increase the pool of men available to Muslim women. An Imam in Scotland has issued a fatwa forbidding the Muslim men there from going "back home" to bring wives to Scotland and instead marry available women in the community there. Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the Ground Zero Mosque imam in New York, has officially allowed Muslim women to marry Christian/Jewish men because that's the "lesser evil" between letting themmarry non-Muslims and having them leave Islam to do the marriage (in his book Moving the Mountain: Beyond Ground Zero to a New Vision of Islam in America, p.131. Too many Muslim women across the West are looking to get married but cannot find compatible available Muslim men to marry. Fascinating stuff, no? So, yeah, this is a huge discussion and so many factors are involved in it, but I'm so, SO happy to learn that the number of Muslim women marry non-Muslim men is increasing. (We need similar research on women in other Western countries, too; not cool that we don't know approximately how many in the U.S. intermarry!) We tend to forget that one of the methods of interpreting Islam is actually existing realities, situations, and context generally of a society, thus allowing Muslims to replaced rules/guidelines that need to be replaced. 

Gosh, I feel so accomplished when I write out something that's on my mind for too long.

Peace to all!


  1. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim from any other religion, whether from among the Jews or Christians, or any other kaafir religion.

    The evidence for that is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

    [al-Baqarah 2:221]

    1. Thank you, Anonymous, for your feedback! Much appreciated.

      Actually, that verse is for both Muslim women AND men and says that neither Muslim women nor Muslim men can marry Mushrik :) Why do some Muslims always take that verse to mean it's only for women? Islam isn't all prohibitions on women alone. Please stop interpreting it so narrowly.

      You might find this of interest, however. The Qur'an on Marriage: Can Muslim Women Marry Christians/Jews?


    2. Baloney, malarkey, and hogwash over something that may in the end be all because of old fairy tales. If not then prove it. Unless you provide evidence and prove otherwise, there is at least an equal chance the Christians are right if there is a God. If they follow your rules, you are going to have many single, lonely, and unhappy Muslim women in the dominant Christian societies of America and Europe.

  2. Some muslims?? Narrowly ?? Wow interesting stuff girl... From the 1st Hijra till date ( it's 1434 by the way) the Sahaba ,tabiun tab-tabiun , four madhahib hanafi Shafi Maliki Shiite and all the thousands of scholars for the last 14 centuries till date agree upon this very point unanimously that a muslimah cannot marry a Christian a Jew a Hindu a Jain a pagan etc and I've to take your point of view ..say why? because you happened to be doing your phd in Islamic studies from the west eh? And what've you got?Feisal Abdul Rauf ? A brain fart "Sufi" imam , at least check him up on your "wiki al saheeh" eh? Quoting a Sufi to hanafis shafis malikis then why stop here , quote me a Vedantist too I am all game..... You can do better then that girl..... So I've to turn a deaf ear to all those big blazing guns and take the interpretation of a qrratugai eh? ( I like your "eh's" by the way , so that's why your seeing lots in my reply #grins ) no, sister in humanity, that risk is not worth taking...contd..

  3. That was about "some Muslims" now about "narrowly" so what I see is that you're the one with a narrow mind ( no offense eh?) just to satisfy your lil feminist pride you are eager to "re-evaluate" Quran WRONGFULLY. I went through a few of your posts just to "evaluate" you and lemme say all were just stupid abhorrent nonsense ( freedom of speech on my part yaaay! #waves fist) except that bijligar mulla , can't say much about him as he is deceased now but the man had no respect of the pulpit on which prophets used to stand and preached and his vulgar tongue ,... Khair that's between him and his lord now... So where was I ? Yeah.. So just to satisfy your retard feminist cum nationalist pride, [which is further nurtured by pseudo intellectuals like drunkards imam " ghat pozay" ghani khan who else? ( I bet you wanna punch me on the nose right now eh? But my nose would be still thinner then ghanis "oops! I did it again" Sa okam da Khattak ao da yousafzai na da shawi )], you are willingly promoting your "dair eent ki masjid" if ya know what I mean, and playing with the deen of many by whispering doubts in their mind ( like iblees wasn't enough for that ?duh!) now that , ma lady, is "narrow minded".
    On a much serious note , If men needed to be given explicit permission to marry a kitabiyya, women needed to be given explicit permission as well, ( not difficult at all for almighty Allah , yeah?) but since they were not given any such permission then they must be barred from marrying a kitabi.... But hey! I know I know you won't buy it as I won't buy your lil " pearls of wisdom" so keep on playing with lil kiddos but hey for a single " pillar of autumn" there are million "pillaran" of spring.. Haha
    Lakum dinukum Waliyadin
    I hope you know what it means "Doc"!

    1. Precisely what I meant by a narrow interpretation of a Qur'anic verse, Nauman!

      Thanks for your insight. Always a delight to hear from people with a different perspective.


  4. @nauman kuttak. A plar d seng dy?

    There is a difference between 'kafir' and 'mushrik' a mushrik is one who believes in another God rather than Allah(or what other name is for allah) and a muslim man or womam can marry anyone who believes in allah( or on what other name he/she knows allah).

    1. Thanks for your comment, Anonymous!

      Noooo - don't tell Nauman that ;) Don't you see, that's like telling him that he doesn't have as much power over women as he wants to believe he has after all (e.g., telling them who they can and can't marry "from God's perspective"!) hah.

      Agreed there's a difference between mushrik and kafir. I recently also learned that scholars are actually not entirely sure about these definitions after all, like I thought they were. According to some, for example, any religious group with a Holy Book is considered "People of the Book," including Hindus! It's a fascinating argument. Worthy of some attention.

      Thanks again for dropping by and commenting!

    2. Well sorry to disappoint you miss qrratu but you are wrong once again because unlike you I am quite satisfied by what Allah has bestowed upon me as a man and I don't need any power/ authority over women, and I certainly don't have any authority because last time I checked I am not a king or a president nor a mufti, a regular human being just like you BUT with a slight diference which is that i am honest and I don't read Quran with a prejudice eye.
      According to you "40 % Canadian muslim women marry non muslim half of whom never convert to islam..." If we had the authority that would not be the case... And you would be pleased to know that I don't give a damn who they marry, everyone will go to their own grave.But the thing is I am not good at lies like you guys and I cannot interpret Quran according to my "taste". That's what the jews and Christians did to their scriptures , and that's what you wish for but in your case it will always remain as your "wish", sorry if it hurts you but i am not a kiss ass and ill tell you the truth. ( by the way qrratu instead of misinterpreting Quran why don't you write your own qrratu sharif?? It would be sooo much fun isn't it? Solving your core issues like " I am so oppressed" " I hate everybody" "I want everything" "I" "I" "I" "me" "me" "me" No?)
      Secondly as you are so keen to collect "pashtu sayings" so here's a good one for you " bal pa oga dazay kawal" Got it? ....was not expecting that from the "all wise" qrratu. It would've been far more better if you would've said/wrote those words directly to my face rather then taking cover of the anonymity. I know you are annoyed but if you have such "revolutionary ideas" you should have a stomach for disagreements by now. And relax girl cause for how long I would re visit your blog ? Day a two, a week max... but the thing is that the path you've chosen and the crap you excrete you'll face staunch opposition on every step you take ,Insha'Allah , so buckle up and enjoy the ride

    3. ""but since they were not given any such permission then they must be barred from marrying a kitabi....""

      hahaha based on your illogic, mr. Nauman, everything in Islam is haram unless the Quran says otherwise??? Sir, thats the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

      @qrratu:: I suggest u dont waste your time on people who get even the basics of Islam wrong like the above. Use your precious time to wrote more blogs like this one instead. Thank you :)

    4. Thanks for returning, Nauman gwala!

      So, hey, while I appreciate your insight and disagreements with me, I don't appreciate and will no longer accept any comments of yours with foul language; so far, every one of your comments has used foul language. I don't take that from anyone, so consider yourself warned or I'll be deleting all of your future comments from here. I understand I'm attacking your superficial sense of masculinity by asserting my views of myself as a human being and a woman with brain, contrary to your expectations and beliefs, BUT that doesn't mean you get all abusive and stuff. But your feeling offended that a woman could challenge your mindset is totally natural, don't worry.

      And LOL @ your assumption that the "Anonymous" comment is actually from me. Sighs. Because *obviously*, no one would ever disagree with you or agree with me, ever, ever, right? ~rolling eyes~ You obviously need to read up on Islam and Muslims throughout history and today and force yourself to see how wrong you are about so many things. I read a nice quote recently: The more you're unwilling to learn something, the more it's a sign that your current beliefs/opinions are totally wrong.

      Also, don't worry about disappointing me - I only get disappointed in people I have high expectations of, kana :)


      @ Mujibullah: Thanks for your suggestion! Pointed noted, and I actually agree :) Also, that's what I took from Nauman's comments, too! That everything's forbidden in Islam unless explicitly stated otherwise! :D Whew - what a relief that Our God disagrees with him ;)

    5. Allah is not the Muslim God. Allah is the Arabic language word for God that is also used by Arabic speaking Christians.

  5. The second "Anonymous" comment is from me @Nauman. khabary kho ta la na darzi kor pta d khaya, khattak asy hm da laso khpo wahalo bad d.

    1. LOL. Thank you, "Anonymous"! Good to hear from you!
      Don't mind Nauman. He's just still angry that he's come across a woman who challenges him. Our society doesn't teach our men what to do and how to respond when they face this reality, so it's not entirely his fault.

      But lol @ da kor pata. Bass ka, bass ka :p

  6. Firstly in the Quran, it states that it is permissible for a man to marry up to four wives (if he is able to do justice), but then the Quran continues to state that a man can not do justice to more than one woman, but nowhere in the Quran does it state that it is haraam (not allowed) or permissible (acceptable) for a woman to marry more than one man.

    Secondly, nowhere in the Quran does it state that it is permissible (acceptable) or haraam (not allowed) for a muslim woman to marry a non-muslim man from the people of the book (Jews and Christians). According to my knowledge it only states that women may not marry Al Mushrikun (atheists). But if Jews and Christians are considered Al Mushrikun then why would God make it permissible for a muslim man to marry non-muslim women of the people of the book.

    “And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al Mushrikun (atheists) till they believe in God alone)” (Al-Baqarah:221).

    I understand that we can not expect to get a clear yes or no for everything. But if something is not stated as permissible or haraam in the Quran, then why insist that it is haraam, even though God did not say it is haraam.

    In the Quran we are expected to respect all religions.

    God is the greatest and God knows best.

    1. Thanks for your comment, Anon!

      I'm wondering why every time someone responds to the whole "the Qur'an doesn't allow marriage to mushriks," they quote verse 2:221 only partially. For example, you pasted only half of that verse, whereas that same verse starts off with the same forbiddance to men, too:

      "And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you." It only continues to say that women, too, cannot marry mushrik men.

      Thanks again for your insight! :)


Dare to opine :)

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