"Pakistani or Pashtun?" The Frustrating Question of Identity

Apparently, the below article is very ... "controversial"... then again, I love controversy and enjoy raising it; it's sometimes the only way to get a discussion started.

It was originally published on Pashtun Women Viewpoint, of which I'm a team member and an editor, but a couple of readers misunderstood the whole point and thought it was *Pashtun Women Viewpoint's* attempt to divide Pashtuns (whereas this is written by me and nothing on the website there necessarily reflects the team's perspective), and so we had to remove it from there to stop the ignorant remarks. I decided that I want to continue this discussion on identity so am posting it here for interested readers' pleasure. I can handle "attacks" on myself but not on Pashtun Women Viewpoint, so stop being stupid, you small lot of people, and reply here instead of attacking the website! Geez, you know what one of our many problems is, folks? We can't handle disagreements and think anyone who disagrees with us is not from us, is a fake Pashtun, is trying to divide everyone. Oh the lies you tell yourselves...

Anyway, bismillah. Here it goes!

"Pakistani or Pashtun?" The Frustrating Question of Identity

One of the most frustrating questions that the Pashtuns of Afghanistan and those of Pakistan who believe in the independence of Pashtuns from Pakistan pose to Pakistani Pashtuns is: “Do you consider yourself Pakistani or Afghan?” (Sometimes also, “Are you Pashtun or Pakistani?” as though one can’t be both.) The questioner’s understanding is that the person’s answer will determine how “real” a Pashtun she/he is: if the answer is, “I am Afghan,” the person is indeed a real Pashtun; if otherwise, they must prepare themselves for a circular, exasperating, and never-ending debate that is initiated often solely so that the questioner can inform them of how brainwashed and less informed they are of their origin and history.

Muslim Women Marrying Non-Muslim Men

If you're not on my Facebook, you're missing out on this, so I'll share it here :)

Talk about the need for re-evaluating classical/medieval rules on whom Muslim women can and can't marry:

In Canada, over 40% Muslim women marry non-Muslim men, half of whom never convert to Islam (Muslim Women in America: The Challenge of Islamic Identity Today by Yvonne Haddad, p. 86)--and why should they have to, right? When women's insight, experiences, and voices are completely ignored in the development of law or of a certain guideline *about them*, what you get is rules that eventually harm them and disempower them... until they can't take it anymore and have to "rebel." From a practical point of view, the situation in the West especially, where Muslims are a minority, is such that interfaith marriages become sort of a necessity to increase the pool of men available to Muslim women. An Imam in Scotland has issued a fatwa forbidding the Muslim men there from going "back home" to bring wives to Scotland and instead marry available women in the community there. Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the Ground Zero Mosque imam in New York, has officially allowed Muslim women to marry Christian/Jewish men because that's the "lesser evil" between letting themmarry non-Muslims and having them leave Islam to do the marriage (in his book Moving the Mountain: Beyond Ground Zero to a New Vision of Islam in America, p.131. Too many Muslim women across the West are looking to get married but cannot find compatible available Muslim men to marry. Fascinating stuff, no? So, yeah, this is a huge discussion and so many factors are involved in it, but I'm so, SO happy to learn that the number of Muslim women marry non-Muslim men is increasing. (We need similar research on women in other Western countries, too; not cool that we don't know approximately how many in the U.S. intermarry!) We tend to forget that one of the methods of interpreting Islam is actually existing realities, situations, and context generally of a society, thus allowing Muslims to replaced rules/guidelines that need to be replaced. 

Gosh, I feel so accomplished when I write out something that's on my mind for too long.

Peace to all!

Privileging American Victims of Bombing: "To Boston with Love, from Afghanistan/Iraq"

NO to these kinds of images!!

 I'm not really sure how I feel about all these images I'm seeing of Afghans and Iraqis (and others who themselves are victims of American terrorism and/or American policies abroad) holding signs of "To Boston, from Afghanistan" or "To Boston, from Iraq." Not only because most Americans have absolutely NO idea what these people themselves suffer from--and most don't even seem to care or want to find out--but also because it's another pitiful way of privileging America and everything Americans, including its victims. I understand that death is always politicized, but that is so unfair. And, so, all you folks sharing pics of Afghan victims with signs like "From Kabul to Boston with Love," posters held by little smiling children or burqa-clad women, STOP IT, DAMNIT!! Those people holding those signs probably have no idea what the signs read in the first place. What's the message there? "We're sorry for Boston"? I'm terribly sorry for Boston. My heart goes out to any and all people who were emotionally, physically, psychologically, or otherwise affected by the bombing in Boston--but I feel this and so much more also for the thousands of people killed monthly throughout much of the world outside America, people whose murder (or victimhood) does nothing to us outside of their small towns or countries or regions. We should stand up for justice no matter where and for whom. Let's be fair and treat all of them equally; no, we're no more important as Americans than the thousands and millions being killed (most because of our own political games on their lands!), so, no, our loss isn't more important. Live with it. While these images may be perceived as a moment of compassion and humanity from non-American victims, sort of saying, "Hey, we're in this boat of victims of bombing/terrorism together! We're with you!" and maybe also intended to make Americans be ashamed of themselves for not giving a damn about other people's lives and sufferings, I strongly believe this is just done to privilege Americans and American life. I highly, highly doubt most people who view these images are going to feel any shame at all; to them, it's going to be more like, "Ohhh, we're so important, and everyone knows it. We deserve so much sympathy, and good to see we're getting that from ALL OVER THE WORLD." That's so how it seems to me...

Love InshaAllah for Men: Muslim Men on Love and Relationships - Call for Stories

Below, I'm pasting the call for papers for the second round of Love InshaAllah, which is this fantastic project about which I wrote a few months ago. The first round was on American Muslim women's experiences with love and relationships; it's published. This time, the editors are seeking Muslim men's experiences. 

I urge any and every American Muslim male to send them their story or stories if you've got something to share. Pen names are acceptable. For details, please visit their website to read the Call for Papers. They are currently seeking more diversity, preferably GBTQs and men from South Asia, Central Asia, Arab, and Latino origins as well. Please share your story, using a pen name if you must.

Deadline: May 6, 2013.

Daily Musings - On Stress, Thesis, Morocco Trip, Daughterly Love, ... and stuff

Yesterday, a friend mentioned that she's started playing the sitar as a means of easing her mind during this stressful time of the semester. She and I are both working on our theses right now, and that's sometimes the only thing we talk about these days. Our entire Spring Break was spent working on them, and the weather has been so beautiful lately that it feels like we're missing out on too much. InshaAllah, we're going to celebrate this Saturday!!!! This semester has been the busiest so far, almost painful.

Reflections on a Conference on the Qur'an: Reading, Thinking, Discussing

Yesterday, I went to a conference on the Qur'an, and it may have been the best conference I've ever attended so far.

Imagine an entire two days dedication to questions on, reflections on, appreciation for the Qur'an. It's just not the kind of thing you come across just any day. So it's something special, something that inspires you in every way, something that challenges you in many ways, something that, at the very least, humbles you and reminds you of how much more there is to know out there about anything and everything but especially about a Sacred Book that defines your life for you.

The best part about it was its inclusion of non-academic community members and imams, in addition to the academics, which was a necessary reminder to me of the importance of keeping our focus and point in mind when dealing with the Qur'an. Sometimes, we (I) forget that the Qur'an is actually a living and alive Text that holds deep purpose in the lives of most, if not virtually all, Muslims around the world in very personal, spiritual ways. And so, our academic readings of it are just as narrow as theological/legal/practical readings alone of it are; so, in order to understand it in a more holistic way, it is best to read (interpret) it with as open a mind as humanly possible and with as wide a circle of readers (interpreters) as possible--such that, for example, you interpret a certain guideline from a certain viewpoint, and then try to understand what the implications of that interpretation are for those involved so as to be able to determine whether or not there might be a better interpretation. Plus, you get to ask a question or pose a certain view and get responses and feedback from multiple perspectives in a way that humbles you and makes you realize how small you actually are when imprisoned in your own mind alone. 

This last point was reminded to us by a speaker not in her presentation but just in a comment at the end--that our experiences are essential in shaping our understanding of the Qur'an. One of my favorite scholars of Islam, named Sa'diyya Shaikh, discusses this so darn well in her article "A Tafsir of Praxis" (for anyone who might not know, since I myself first saw this word hardy a few years ago, praxis basically means practice and is usually seen as the alternative to theory). So, Shaikh basically points out the importance of using women's--or anyone's--actual experiences as a mode of interpretation/exegesis of the Qur'an/Islam. Think of it this way: the guidelines of Islamic law (which were established by groups of men over a few hundred years and never actually took into consideration the views or experiences or understanding of women especially when giving guidelines about women in the first place) issues all these guidelines about how to live, behave, etc., right? Let's admit that certain groups are more affected by law, no matter how divine it may be claimed to be, than other groups. For example, women suffer more from certain unfair interpretations of some Qur'anic verses, such as 4:34 (the "beating" verse, as it has been called, despite the fact that there are multiple ways, some non-violent, of interpreting that verse), and it's actually because of that interpretation that they suffer, right? So, since women themselves are the ones living that interpretation, and they're affected negatively in many cases, why not allow their experiences to teach us that: "No! This can't be! *I* am affected by *your* understanding of something! Why not let *me* and others like me determine what this should or might actually mean?" It's one thing to simply offer an interpretation or a guideline, but it's completely different when that guideline is lived and experiences. And those experiences matter, whether we like it or not.

Hm... I'm going off track here, but that was one of the most important reminders I got, so not totally off track, yeah?

Another thing. Someone spoke about the word ta'weel (which basically means interpretation but literally "going back to the original meaning of" something ... coming from the word awwal or first) and the whole concept of interpretation. Does the Qur'an "need" to be interpreted, and if so, what exactly does that mean and what might that say about God and God's all-Powerfullness? And who should do the interpretation? Of course, this isn't a new question, and Muslim scholars debated this issue for centuries. But the speaker offered some new ways of looking at the concept of interpretation, and I don't know if I should discuss them here since her paper is not published yet. I'll cite it here as soon as it's published, though, inshaAllah. This particular presentation was impressive. Very inspiring. 

Someone else talked about women's political authority and the Qur'anic figure Bilqees (well, she's not named in the Qur'an, but the Islamic tradition calls her Bilqees, and she's the Queen of Sheba and wife of Solomon). She was a powerful figure, she was a queen, she ran an entire kingdom, and the Qur'an doesn't in any way imply that her authority was unacceptable, that she was intellectually lacking, or that she did any bad or wrong at all. In fact, from what the Qur'an tells us, she did everything right! The Book speaks of her in pleasant terms. But there's a hadith [to non-Muslims: hadith = a statement by or about the Prophet Muhammad], which unfortunately is far too popular in many Muslim societies, that any nation or community led by a woman is doomed to failure, a hadith narrated by someone named Abu Bakra. The speaker discussed what Ashraf Ali Thanvi, a South Asian Muslim scholar who died in 1943, had to say about women's political authority. Well, Thanvi basically said that the hadith doesn't refer to women's political authority as we understand it today--that, yes, indeed women are intellectual inferior to men and must not be trusted with important decision-making and must always have men making the decisions for them, BUT today's governments function in such a way that no one person makes a decision. So even if a woman is in power, she doesn't make the ultimate decision. Yeah, Thanvi is the same guy who wrote that marriage advice for women that I talked about on my blog recently that is really disturbing because he, well, simply put, he hates women and thinks very lowly of them. 

There were so many other remarkable presentations.

All in all, it was a spiritually and intellectually empowering experience, and I am excited to attend all of its future ones as well, inshaAllah.

Thaaaaaaank you for listening.

Call for Papers - International Conference on Pashtuns, to be held in Pakistan

Dear readers, if you or anyone you know does research on anything even remotely related to Pashtuns or Pashtun regions (Afghanistan, FATA, Pashtunkhwa), please see the posting below and share the word with all you can.

Conference Name: "The Dynamics of Change in Conflict Societies: Pakhtun Region in Perspective."

Proposals Deadline: March 31st, 2013

Conference Date: June 25-26, 2013  (in Peshawar, Pashtunkhwa (Pakistan))

Thank you!

INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE
CALL FOR PAPERS
THE DYNAMICS OF CHANGE IN CONFLICT SOCIETIES: PAKHTUN REGION IN PERSPECTIVE

Straddled across the Pak-Afghan border, the Pakhtun region has witnessed a long history of perpetual war, violence, insecurity and displacements, which profoundly affect the socio-psychological, political and economic conditions of its people. For decades, life within Pakhtun society in the Pakistani provinces of Baluchistan, Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa and Federally Administered Tribal Areas (FATA) has been viewed through the spectrum of social and political upheavals and conflict in Afghanistan. Since 2001, the US and NATO engagement in Afghanistan has added to growing unrest in Pakhtun society. 

Beauty Ideals in Pashto Music

For the past several years, I have been a keen observer of how women, men, and other genders are portrayed in the entertainment media, such as the music and film industries. I’m particularly fascinated by gender and sexuality performances in South Asian entertainment media—or what it means to be a woman and man according to these media. An excerpt of a paper I’ve written for a Music, Gender, and Sexuality course can be read here, titled “Gender and Sexuality Performances in Pashto Music.” There, I surveyed some Pashto music videos and the responses to them from Youtube users as well as Pashtuns in online communities to gather ideas about how these videos portray women and men, what exactly the role of the dama (female entertainer, such as actress, dancer, or singer in the Pashtun society) is and what it suggests about the Pashtun society, and who the intended audience of Pashto music and visual performances actually is (not surprisingly, it is men, as can be seen in this performance taking place in all-male setting called hujra, and occasionally upper class women, as seen here, with women sitting usually in the front and the men in the back rows). Centering the discussion on the role(s) of the dama, I analyzed the tension between the ideal of what the Pashtun society considers a “decent” Pashtun woman and the reality of the dama portrayed in these music videos.

Why International Women's Day Matters

Today, International Women’s Day (IWD), is a national holiday in China, Russia, Vietnam, and Bulgaria. This should be the case in every country, considering how much every society owes its women with all the violence against women, all the discrimination, all the hatred of women that are so prevalent in so much of the world. In fact, I cannot think of one society that is free of any form of discrimination against women, that sees its women as equal and full members of society as its men. When I say “equal” here, I am not implying that men or men’s rights are the standard against which women and women’s rights should be measured—but I am pointing out something that should be obvious to all: women and men are equal in worth, value, and merit; there is no reason either gender should be treated as a lesser member of society or as inferior to the other for any reason. But we know that most, if not all, societies still discriminate against women its own ways. Just because one society does not practice forced marriages, for example, does not mean it treats its women any better than another society might. It is a shame that in 2013, we are still fighting for women’s rights and their freedom to choose what they understand is best for themselves.

Law & Order SVU and the Chris-Rihanna (Abusive) Relationship

hah.
Law and Order - SVU [Special Victims Unit], my favorite show of all time (at least until recently), of which I've watched every single episode of every single season so far, just aired an apparently controversial episode. Titled "Funny Valentine," the horribly-performed episode is undoubtedly the story of the  pop stars couple, Rihanna and Chris Brown. Because of the twist in the end, I've been wondering if SVU could get in trouble for doing what they did--since they basically "stole" the real-life story of Rihanna and Chris--but then again, precisely because of the twist in the end, they can't be charged with anything. Still, the similarities are too strong:

The Problem with "One Billion Rising"

Originally published at A Safe World for Women.
P.S. I forgot to point out another major flaw in the campaign--and that is the day designated for it, which is February 14th, Valentin's Day. Many Muslims believe that Valentine's Day is "haraam" (forbidden), and whether that's true or not, the point is that the selection of the day alone is not inclusive for all women out there and doesn't take into consideration the diverse cultures of the world. In Pakistan, specifically, these billboards appear during Valentine's Day that claim that "celebrating" Valentine's Day is forbidden; in fact, the clerics recently also issued statement that "Valentine's Day" is to be replaced with "Modesty Day" instead. So women who participate in the One Billion Rising campaign are potentially at risk, although I'd be interested to know how the campaign went in the Muslim countries that participated in it (Afghanistan was among them, for example).

Now, feel free to carry on with the following ...

The One Billion Rising Campaign, founded by The Vagina Monologue playwright Eve Ensler, is an apparently global campaign that invites women and men, but particularly women, to make a revolutionary stand against violence against women. According to their website, 

On V-Day’s 15th Anniversary, 14 February 2013, we are inviting ONE BILLION women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to this violence. ONE BILLION RISING will move the earth, activating women and men across every country. V-Day wants the world to see our collective strength, our numbers, our solidarity across borders.

But exactly how inclusive can this campaign be when it urges women to rise up and “dance” for one day in order to demand an end to violence against women? In Why I Won’t Support One Billion Rising,  Natalie Gyte writes:

The primary problem with One Billion Rising is its refusal to name the root cause of women's inequality; its outright refusal to point the finger at a patriarchal system which cultivates masculinity and which uses the control and subjugation of women's bodies as an outlet for that machoism.” This is indeed a serious flaw of the campaign, since, as Gyte adds, “seeing footage on the news of women dancing in unison will do absolutely nothing to educate or deter a perpetrator or potential perpetrator.

Besides, what exactly does “come out and dance so that you may ‘rise’ above your terrifying experience(s) of sexual abuse and other gendered violence!” actually mean?

When Mullahs Molest Children: Why the Silence?

This is part 2 of how the Qur'an teacher in my Elementary school used to molest girls in my class (I swear - I feel like Ghani Khan knew the mullah too damn well!). The following, however, is a discussion on sexual abuse in general.

Originally published at pashtunwomenvp.com--and titled Sexual Violence against Children and Afghan Refuges in Pakistan--the article has been shortened here to include only the section on mullahs (Qur'an teachers, local mosque leaders) abusing children and the general discussion on sexual violence against children in the Pakistani society. Click the title with the link to read the full article. 

When Mullahs Molest Children: Why the Silence?

 

It is universally known that victims of sexual abuse or violence often fall under the most vulnerable members of society, such as refugees, migrants, children (regardless of sex or gender), people with disabilities, females, and gendered minorities, for instance, intersex individuals or hermaphrodites (born with both male and female reproductive organs). The perpetrators can be anyone, male or female but more commonly male, and belong to any religion or ethnicity. The most important thing that the abusers have in common is that they have easy access to their victims and they often enjoy positions of authority and power that compel others to trust them. Since teachers, coaches, adult family members or relatives, neighbors, and mullahs, qaaris, or imams (religious leaders and teachers of the Qur'an) have easy access to children, many among them frequently abuse the trust of the parents and guardians of the children they supervise or teach by molesting them. Needless to say, this does not mean all teachers, coaches, and mullahs are perpetrators of sexual abuse, but the reality is that many of them are. What's worse, our society has programmed us to trust these people blindly because of our close relations with them or because of their position in society.