Hope of a New Dawn

I was recently introduced to this Pakistani band called Laal. The guys are AMMMMMMAYYYYZING!!!! Each one of their songs I've heard so far has been a meaningful one -- SO touching, SO moving -- 'cause they're all for the people, you know? They sing FOR the people, they stand WITH the oppressed, they're all for freedom of speech and freedom for humanity. I feel like I just now started living!! And their videos are SO thought-provoking, tooooo! Check out the following video, for instance. It's called, in Urdu (they sing in Urdu), Umeed-e-Sahar, or "Hope of a New Dawn." They remind people that they are powerful, that they have a say in what happens. 

What is "Islam"?

Pre-post: My thoughts here are very disorganized, but you'll bear with me. Thanks for understanding!

For the longest time now, I've been wondering what "Islam" actually is, and that's why I can't help but put it in quotations. I'm gonna paste my comments from friends' blogs 'cause I really don't have the energy or the good health at the moment to write it (am terribly ill. You understand) and will hope that'll do for the moment. One day, I'd also like to write a long piece on what Islam is and what it means to believe/submit.

We always hear Muslims saying, "That's not Islam." Really? Then what is Islam? If Islam isn't as difficult as they claim, then why is no one practicing the Islam that's not difficult, the Islam that's so easy to practice? Almost all (if not completely all) Muslims will also agree that they do not practice Islam the way they are supposed to or the way they understand they should be. Why not? Obviously, it's not easy, then. Obviously, it's not understood what Islam is or how it should be practiced -- or there are strong disagreements.

Western Woman: Plague of the West

I share here my response to an article titled "Woman: The Plague of the West," by Abu Osama. The introduction of the article reads:

This short work has been compiled to expose the fallacy of the Western nations and the culture and civilisation they profess to believe in and live by. Its aim is to educate those in the Muslim world the true picture of life in the Western countries with a view to demolish the myth that the west has the solution to all the world’s problems. Rather the West is the cause and source of all the worlds’ problems!” Abu Osama's thesis is that the Shari'a is the only solution to the problems of the west, where women are“ sexually denigrated, alcoholic and drug dependent, abused, attacked and raped" and "constant thoughts of suicide and self harm, deeply depressed, pandering after equality such is the nature of the liberated Western woman!

Zakir Naik on Women: Part 3 - Women in Politics

 For part 2, please click here.

Zakir Naik emphatically and incessantly argues that Islam promotes the equality of women and men, often citing Qur’anic verses such as 9:71, which reads, "The men and the women are supporters of each other." He asserts that the term "supporter" here means that they are each other’s supporters not only socially but politically as well. He lists women’s political rights as their rights to vote, take part in law-making, and join battlefields. His example for women’s participation in lawmaking is rather interesting:

According to the famous Hadith in which Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) was discussing with the Sahabas, and considering the putting an upper limit on ‘Meher’, since young men were discouraged from getting married – a lady from the back seat objected and said “When the Qur’an says in Surah Nisa Ch. 4, Verse No. 20 that ‘You can even give a heap of treasure, a heap of gold in Meher, when the Qur’an puts no limit on ‘Meher’, who is Umar to put a limit (May Allah be pleased with him)?” And immediately, Hazrat Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) said: ‘Umar is wrong and the lady is right’.

Books I Highly Recommend on Gender/Islam

To my non-Muslim readers, sorry that this list revolves around Muslims/Islam only! It's just, since the last couple of years, I've been seeking Muslims who saw what I saw in the traditional interpretations of Islam and having found the following has been a blessing! And had it not been for a research mentor who suggested I compile an annotated bibliography of "feminist and progressive interpretations of Islam," this would never have happened -- at least not yet. So please bear with me as I complete the list for now!

Letter to Dr. Laura

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

http://evolvefish.com/blog/Dr%20Laura%20Letter.htm

Zakir Naik's Views on Women: Part I

Pre-script: This post, and Zakir Naik's personality and "scholarship," should explain to many Muslims why I am a feminist and why I'm worried about Muslim women, especially those who follow Zakir Naik and his likes like he's a prophet or something. I'm truly sorry for all such women ... although knowing that men, too, follow him doesn't help 'cause those men, after listening to Naik, go home only to put women in a lower position! For instance, a husband might tell his wife, "You can't work anymore because Zakir Naik said the woman shouldn't work." Or "I have the right to beat you up because verse 4:34 tells me I can." Like, yo, what's this guy doing to the future generations?! And, mind you, he often gets his Quranic verse numbers wrong . . . Yep. Of course, I verify him each time he mentions a surah/verse number, and he's wrong many times. I just wonder why no Muslims actually notice that. Does anyone ever, EVER bother to verify the information he spoonfeeds them? Wake up, folks!!! Oh, and ... not that anyone should be surprised, but he also makes up names of all these random nobel-prize winning "scientists" (such as those who don't believe in evolution... 'cause, oh you know, that is proof that evolution indeed is not true!). It's adorable, really. Oh ... this is still the pre-script. Sorry, I'll continue to the actual post now. 

Zakir Naik, giving a lecture on women's "rights" in Islam

So, as many of my readers know, I'm writing my honors thesis on Zakir Naik and his views on women. I've written a chapter of it so far (it was for my Gender and Sexuality in Islam course), and I'm learning that as I write more, more and more ideas come to me about how to interpret his talks/lectures! In this one chapter, I argue that his views subtly put women in an inferior position, despite his insistence that "women and men are EQUAL in the eyes of God." More on this later but for now ... 

Needless to say, it's complete torture -- TORTURE, folks, TORTURE!!! -- to hear and listen to Naik's lectures and analyze them and critique them. ~cries desperately~ Imagine hearing Quranic verse 4:34 as the ONLY reason for virtually everything -- from why you can't work unless you are absolutely *required* to, why God never send female prophets, why you can't have certain jobs (or any jobs, rather, because the responsibility is solely the husband's), to why you have to sit in the back of his lectures, why your husband has the right to beat you up or discipline you (yes, he's comparing women to children, you see, children who need to be beaten and disciplined by their parents. Clearly, women aren't intelligent or wise enough and therefore NEED men to discipline them. Sickness, I tell you!), and oh yes why YOU don't have the right to initiate a divorce and your husband can divorce you any time HE feels like it. It's disparaging to say the least! I don't know what kind of a woman accepts such stuff as "authentic" or "Islamic." Sure, we know how things SHOULD be in the ideal Muslim world, but he doesn't at all address those situations in which things are not what they're supposed to be. But I'll give you examples of this in future posts. Patience. For now, lemme just complain about what all I have to go through listening to someone many Muslims see as a "scholar"!

Often, I have to listen to each one like 50 times 'cause each time I listen to him, I hear him differently, and a new interpretation of his seemingly feminist ideas come to my mind. And, of course, Qrratugai has GOT to respond to those! The one thing that pushes me to keep going is that ... if I don't introduce him to the academia, no one will. This is my way of reminding Muslims that there are more than one way to read what he's feeding you, and there are miserable consequences for the sorta information he forces down your throat without your realizing it. I plan to distribute this paper if it's accepted by the department.

So, I'm reading his book titled Women's Rights in Islam: Modern or Outdated? As one would expect, it's nothing more than an attack on the west. No, wait - it's not an attack on the west; it's an attack on America alone. At these random times, he'll say things about America and American women and their treatment to make it seem like women are just so, oh so degraded in America but so, oh so respected in "Muslim" countries! Sure, it goes both ways. But who looks at that?

Lemme introduce the guy first. Zakir Naik is a 40-year-old Indian televangelist / preacher deemed a "scholar" by many Muslims, especially Muslims of South Asian background. It's disturbing, folks, it's disturbing. You can look him up. He's all over the net. And you can even follow him on Facebook, like I do, and check his status and try so OH SO hard to control yourself from responding to his comments (status messages) because you know that your message/comment will be hidden within minutes.

The reason I chose to write my thesis on him and not anyone else (e.g., Ahmed Deedat) is as follows.

When I first heard of Zakir Naik in 2006, I was impressed with his “logic” and teachings. I remained his acolyte for approximately two years, until I began to note contradictions and double standards in his explanations to questions asked of him. I therefore empathize with those who support him and deem him an authority on Islam. He continues to influence many of my Muslim friends, particularly those from a South Asian background, to such an extent that when I mention that I am pursuing Islamic Studies, the first thing I am asked is, “What do you think of Zakir Naik?” as though my opinion of him will determine whether or not I am studying the “right” Islam: If I do not think highly of him, I am being taught the “western” and “modern” Islam against which Zakir Naik preaches; if I think well of him, I am on the “right” path.

I'd have to have a long, long blog post for each comment he makes, but here's what you may expect: His views on female prophets, women leading their families (he says that if a woman is forbidden in Islam to lead her own FAMILy, then how can she lead an entire nation? I'm convinced!), women in politics, women on the battlefield (he says Islamic history tells us that women healed the wounds, serving as nurses, so Muslim women are ALLOWED to be on the battlefield -- but they're forbidden to fight in the war, unless there are absolutely no men around), and his views on non-Muslims' right to practice and preach their religion in a Muslim land.

I like the last one first, even though it doesn't have anything to do with women. It's just to introduce you to him so you know what to expect from his views on women, so you know what sort of "logic" he uses, so you understand why I felt the utter need to write on him in the academic world (while Ahmed Deedat is written on constantly, Zakir Naik is absolutely unheard of in the scholarly world).

Enjoy the video I'm about to share! Much more to come later.You might also want to take a look at this video: Zakir Naik and Women's Rights in Islam.

"Am I Pretty?"

For those females who always ask, "Am I pretty?" here's your answer.

Khutba by a Woman

Something very, VERY interesting -- and uplifting -- I'd like to share here.

Sa'diyya Shaikh giving a khutba (the Friday sermon). I've personally met Sa'diyya Shaikh, and she's one of the most pleasant people ever, so friendly and sweet and warm! What she does with South Asian women in South Africa, I'd like to one day do with Pukhtun women . . . but we'll see, ka khairee.

Click here to watch.

Women Leading Men in Prayer

A Facebook photo of mine shows a woman leading a mixed congregation of prayer. I was sure it'd lead to some interesting comments from some Muslims, and it sorta did. I'd like to share here the typical arguments given against women's leading men in prayer and my response to each one.

One of my friends commented that "This is so wrong." I asked why, and she said, "I don't know. I can't explain. But it feels wrong." Of course that's not a good enough justification, but I left it.

Another friend commented that Al-Maghrib disapproves (as if Al-Maghrib decides what Islam says and as if I am supposed to accept their decisions :p but it was cute, so no worries).

Finally, the response I'd been waiting for -- and I copy/paste the discussion verbatim here.

This friend, let's call him Wror Jaan (WJ), said that you can't pray behind a woman; it's disliked.

Me: Disliked by whom? 

WJ: In the world from Indonesia to Afghanistan,from Saudi arabia to Pakistan, from iran to Iraq and europe.. have you ever seen a woman standing and giving Namaz to men? yes in in some cases a woman can give jamaha to women only not men.
why was the masjid or prayer hall of men and women seperated? its because men shouldnt see women praying :)
for more info read this http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=3&ID=4591&CATE=352

Allah swt knows the best

[Note, readers, the link to an "authority" -- I'm supposed to agree with them. I wonder what happens if I don't . . . I mean, suppose I agree with another scholar or another person/group in a position of authority over such issues. Then what happens? Oh, I forgot - I'm a deviant and am following the wrong crowd! Geez, I don't believing in following people. I believe in evaluating whatever I read. I believe we have been blessed with reason so that we can use it in moments like these.] 

Me: Just because a woman has never been permitted to lead men in prayer doesn't mean she lacks divine permission to do so. Tradition isn't always coming from God; it's almost always man-imposed, in fact.

Why shouldn't men see women praying, or vice versa?

Try not to give me links to long articles that are denying every other perspective and interpretation out there and enforcing only one. I acknowledge SunniPath.com's perspective, but the name itself suggests it's biased. 

WJ: ok as you say.. there will be many others who wont agree with u. I am not trying to say that women have lower status in Islam than men, All i wanted to say is that how can a woman bow in front of a man? will the man be able not to look at her? I have travelled to many countries and I have never seen a woman giving jummah, how come they give jummah in America.
Have you heard any Prophet's wife or any bibi has given jamaha? If they have then its ok for all the women to stand and give jamah but if not then please dont bring this new religion. we as hanafis dont have woman imam.. oh and i havent seen any woman imam in saudi arabia or other gulf countries.. so lets say maybe we have a new religion in this world who allow women to give jammah.

oh and you dont read my article.. then bring me proof and hadith to convince me that its ok for women to lead a prayer. You can just decide on your own, you have to rely on scholars that spend their entire life studying our religion me and you are ordinary human beings and shouldnt allow ourselves to change the course of our religion without any proof. I gave you a link to read but it looks like you want to stick with your own stand on this matter and do not wish to research about whether your even right or wrong. if you have already decided that you are right then i cannot convince you otherwise. May Allah swt guide all of us.

Me:
‎1. We need a Quranic verse / hadith that tells us that women *cannot* lead men in prayer, not one that says they can. Otherwise, we're going to need trillions of hadith narrations and Quranic verses that tell us that we can do this and that and that and that. Unless something's specified as haraam, we don't need evidence that it's halaal.

2. Everyone can disagree with me, that's fine with me. It's possible that the majority is wrong and the minority right.

3. You ask why can a woman be in front of a man. Well, why not? What's wrong with it? Just because you've never seen it doesn't mean it's haraam.

4. Saudi Arabia or any other Gulf country? :) You mean ... you need one of them to do something in order for it to be considered acceptable Islamically? C'mon, WJ-- they're the worst example o what it means to be a Muslim!

All I'm saying is: What's wrong with it? I need you to think about it yourself and then answer instead of giving me what a certain group of a certain sect of Islam says about it.

WJ: imagine u r an imam.. a girl.. 4 am u go to masjid to give namaz.. therez only one man standing in masjid who will follow you to pray.. can you give him namaz? is there any shaytan between you two?

why is women not allowded to talk or meet strangers?
does islam teach us about not to talk to stranger men or not?
how can you bow in front of a stranger man?
what if the imam woman is not a fat ugly woman but a beautiful 20 yrs old girl.. will she be able to give namaz to a guy aged 20 or 22 who is totally a stranger for him?

Me: I don't get your first question. What would be wrong if I led him in prayer?

And last time I checked, the rule of segregation applied to *both* men and women. So your argument doesn't hold correct there -- 'cause it's not just women who are not allowed to talk to or meet strangers; it's men, too. (This, of course, is assuming that gender segregation is really prohibited.)

How can I bow in front of a stranger man? Well, how can a stranger man bow in front of ME?

What if the imaam in front of me is a 20-year-old handsome man, not a "fat ugly" man? Should he still lead women in prayer, especially if these women are strangers to him?

I hope you see what I'm doing here. Every question you ask can be turned around so that it applies to BOTH men and women, not just to women :)

WJ: No..there is difference in man and woman's body. a man can walk outside or even in haram sharif without a shirt and his half body naked but a woman cant.. there are certain rules for men and women to follow. you still think that its connected to our cultural issue? No its not.. if it was so then there would be thousands of women imams in the west.. can you give me atleast 10 names of muslim women imams?
in Afg or asian and gulf countries we follow our culture but how come in the west we dont see women imam except one or two whom i got to see in the past 3 yrs...
My first question was that can you feel urself safe in masjid giving namaz to a stranger man at 5 am alone? he is alone and you are alone too.. can you?

Ofcoarse you cant.. thats why women are told to pray at home and they will get the same sawab as much they get in masjid :D

and i forgot to ask.. did bibi khadija or bibi fatima every lead the namaz? they did attend speeches and talked to people in masajids but they never went for iqama or salah in front of men. we learn from our prophet, His ahadith and from our scholars.. no one is allowded to make up something out of his brain and make a fitwa saying this is halal and this is haram.
Whem Prophet Mohammad pbuh passed away, His wife was the one who took responsibility to talk to the people and spread Islam till another successor was announced, during that time she never leaded any Namaz :) now guess it urself and think that y she didnt give namaz to those people who respected her as much as they respected the Prophet Mohammad pbuh.
We are not living in Afghanistan to think that .. Oh ppl will say bad if my wife goes to masjid and lead a prayer.. we r living in the west where everyone is a free bird and can do whatever they want .. But our religion tells us not to follow what was not followed by others.

I will insist and say that a woman is allowded to give salah to the women only but not men. Yes there is a chance where a woman can stand in other room and men in other room, that time she may give salah but not standing in front of men. This is why all the masajids have seperate place for men and women.. if women was allowded to pray with men then there would be no seperate places for both men and women.

A woman cant stand next to a man and pray.. she has to stand atleast one meter behind the man and there should be no men standing behind her :). here in west there are different types of muslims who believe in different schools of teachings.. we have hanafi,sha'fi,hanbali,parvizi,qidyani,sufi,shia and all others mixed together so the best thing is to stick to your own school of FIQ and follow what your imam says. Even in kab'aa there are 4 imams who belong to 4 different schools..

Shaikh Hamza yusuf visits our class once a month and i hope i will be able to meet him, if i did then Inshallah for sure i will ask him about this and lets see what does he say about it. Oh and i am going to ask this question from my arab scholar and an Afghan hanafi scholar too. I will gather the views of 3 different scholars and bring it in front of you.. Inshallah that time you will get the answer to your question.

Allah swt knows the best.

 

Me: So, the only reason a woman should not lead men in prayer is that her body is different from the man's body? But but but but ... WJ, so what that our bodies are different? Or are you implying that because I'm a woman, I lack the feelings/emotions to be attracted to a man who's leading me in prayer, regardless of his age? Because if that's the assumption, it's completely wrong.

Here's what I understand from the arguments that people give when saying women shouldn't be allowed to lead men in prayer:

- A man leading women in prayer is okay because women aren't supposed to be thinking about physical stuff (desire, lust, etc.) when praying, so it's understood that women will behave while praying behind a man, no matter how attracted they are to the man leading the prayer.

- A WOMAN leading men in prayer, however, is wrong because men are easily attracted to women. And men just naturally can't behave once they fall in love with or lust after a woman. So it's not okay for women to do it, but it's okay for men.

Yet, when I say, "What IF a woman gets attracted to a man leading the prayer?" The response is, "OMG! Shame on you! That's so immodest -- why would you be thinking that when praying? :S That's so wrong and impious." Yeah, well, I was just told that women shouldn't lead men in prayer because she is nothing more than a naturally seductive and dangerously sexy being by nature, and so that means men are easily attracted to her . . . No one thinks THAT is immodest, but it's immodest when *I* say that a woman actually MAY be attracted to a man leading prayer?

You see the contradiction there, WJ?

And this makes sense to people.

Regarding the Prophet's wives and how they never led prayer (actually, you did ask that earlier, and I did respond :) 's okay, though ) -- again, just because they never did it doesn't mean it's haraam. There are many, many things they didn't do simply because such was not the norm or standard of the day; or maybe because they didn't have a reason to or access to such power. Yes, yes - Islam is for all people of all times, but, again, as I said earlier, unless it is specifically specified to be *haraam*, everything's halaal. Unless you can give me a quote from the Quran, or maybe even a hadith, that tells me that a woman is strictly forbidden from leading men in prayer, I am going to have to continue disagreeing with you.

WJ: as u wish sister..
Lakum deinokum walyadein :D
__________________________

I wish we'd gotten into a discussion on hadiths . . . That would've pushed me to write a blog post on hadiths, too :p (NOTE: I don't reject all hadiths, so don't try to read between the lines, folks. But there are some "authentic" hadiths that I find quite disturbing.) 

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End of comments.


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There are too many claims without support -- and I mean this in any discussion/debate on women and gender. A woman can't do this; she has to do this and that; she can't do XYZ -- she has to stand this way -- she has to think this way -- etc. No support for these claims. No explanation. No evaluation of them. I don't understand how we can just sit there and accept everything as it is without thinking about it or questioning its authenticity.  

People often assume that I don't know my stuff and that because I disagree with the idea that women are forbidden from leading men in prayer, I need to be reminded of what "scholars" say. Firstly, I'm going to question the "scholarship" of these scholars -- and these "scholars" include Zakir Naik (ohhh my favorite one! I have a poem coming on him.) Secondly, the *majority* tells us that women can't lead men in prayer -- but who said the majority has to be right? What if I decide to go with the minority on certain issues instead? Isn't that the beauty of diversity? (Now, now, I mean what if the minority can very, VERY well defend their stance, not like, "Okay, let's just go with this because it "feels" right. Or "Let's go with this because it's 'modern' and we should be tryina be modern." Yeah, no. I don't mean that type. They gotta have a really good, convincing argument for me to give them some thought.)

More on this another time. I have an essay to write now on Zakir Naik's stance on female authority in Islam.  

A Deep Infinite Well

I'm writing this in response to a good friend's article/piece on the hijab and some Muslim's hypocrisy related to the hijab and all. (You know, when replying to non-Muslims' questions on the hijab, we go, "Oh, no, no - the hijab is just a choice." YET, we go around condemning the female who DOESN'T wear the hijab. Like, what's up with that, yo? Or we think we're more pious and more Islamic and closer to God and more modest than those be-sharam (immodest) women who don't cover their hair.) And not all Muslim females who cover their hair do so out of personal choice. It's often vying with their Muslim peers. It's done to please others rather than to please your Creator. As I read today, "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please others." Or you cover your hair, but that's not enough: You've to cover everything else. So you cover your hair, but your chest shows; you cover your hair and chest, but your arms show; you cover all that but your face shows. Like, OH MY GOD! The obligations, the expectations never end, and you just wanna scream and say, "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, WORLD!!!! Leave me to my God!!!"

k, so here. I'm sharing here some thoughts that I shared with her on this. [Pre-script: I use both "She" and "He" for God. Live with it. If God has no gender, then why does it matter if I call Her a She or a He? It's both for me, and I'll use these pronouns as if they mean the same thing -- they mean God.]

We subtly force people to have the kind of faith we do, or to believe the way WE think everyone should believe without realizing that everyone has her/his own understanding of God, that God has a way with every single one of His worshipers, that each person has her/his own pace at which to reach or find God. I remember when a close friend of mine showed interest in Islam and I told some ladies at the Islamic Center nearby, and they were all like, "Hurry, hurry, convert her RIGHT now before she changes her mind!" :S At that time, around 2007, I was very immature and stupid and spiritually empty, so I was like, "OMG, sisters, you all are right! She might change her mind, and then she won't become a Muslim!" So I rushed to pretty much STUFF her with things about Islam ... it's now my WORST regret ever.

If I were to go back in time, I'd tell those ladies with a smile on my face, "If she's gonna change her mind, then she's not ready to be a Muslim, she's not ready to see God your/my way, she's not ready to practice our faith. Or perhaps God hasn't intended for her to become a Muslim NOW if she's gonna change her mind. Let's answer her questions if/when we can and be the best examples of good Muslims that we can be, and if she converts, great; if she doesn't, so be it -- God might have other plans in mind for her." Oh but I can imagine the frowns they'll gift me then!

Ahhh ... yes . . .

Anyway, we can't change the past but only look forward to a future in which we can better ourselves and allow others the space they need or desire to be their own selves. I just can't imagine WHAT kind of a God would wish to put us into hell in order to grant us heaven ultimately! I REFUSE to believe that showing a strand of hair is going to invalidate my prayer, or showing my head is going to deny me the fruits of heaven. No. And what if I don't feel comfortable in a headcovering? Would I not be resenting God the whole time, then? I mean, walking in a street with a hijab on FEELING ANGRY at God because He's making me do something I don't feel comfortable in, something that's inviting attention toward me from everyone else because I look different, I stand out -- how can I appreciate God then? How can I love God then? How can I even DESIRE to get to know this God or get closer to this God? I can't. I'd be resenting Him the whole time.

I'm a staunch supporter of the hijab -- even of the veil (face-covering). I believe EVERY woman should be allowed to cover her face if that's her way of getting closer to God, if that's what she believes it means to be modest, if that's how she attains piety. But she's in NO position to tell someone else, "You're not as close to God as I am because I cover my face, something the wives of the Prophet were commanded to do, and you're not! hah." Uhh ... screw you, you fake Muslimah! How does she know I don't feel even closER to God? In all honesty, I have this REALLY beautiful relationship with God. I believe I'm extremely close to God, and I love it. You know how I can tell? Because I talk to God and I yell at Him. I fight with Him. It's exactly what I express in a poem of mine I've aptly titled "Forbidden."

I literally talk to God, and I literally fight with Him. I get angry with Her when I have too many questions and can't figure out the answers, and then I embarrassingly come back to Her when I DO find the answers and discuss them with Him. But I don't mind, and I don't feel like it's going to send me directly to hell just because I didn't do something She has decided is best for me to do. No. I love this God. I fear Her but not in the way that we're normally raised or taught to fear God. It's like this: You know how you're always afraid of disappointing your favorite teachers or, say, your parents? It's becuase you love them SO much, you wish SO much to impress and please them, to make them proud, but you don't wanna mess up because you don't want to make them less proud of you, you don't wanna disappoint them. It's like that with me and my God.

And so, I don't discuss my relationship with God with anyone because people don't understand. They're like, "You're supposed to do XYZ; no way around it! Stop making excuses for yourself!" Yeah, okay. So what? Who're you to tell me what my God wants me to do? And if I don't do it, what are you gonna do about it? I understand that we should promote what's good and avoid what's bad, but who're you to force me to do it? And why're you picking and choosing which parts of your faith to practice and enforce and which ones to ignore? Hypocrite. Go away.

k ... :D that's all :D

On the Hypocrisy of Some Feminists

k, so, have you ever felt like people OFTEN don't live up to their own beliefs and ideals and standards, or what they themselves promote? I do. In fact, I think it's true for most people in one way or another.

You see, I don't shy away from classifying myself as a feminist -- provided a feminist is someone who supports and advocates the rights of women as humans (or, as the witty saying goes, feminism is the radical notion that women are humans). Now, what this means is that I am entirely supportive of females, would do anything to help them, and would give up whatever I have for their happiness -- provided it's something I don't really "need," you know. Yeah, well, turns out that many feminists aren't like this! It makes me laugh.

Every time I read a book or article that I REALLY like, I email the author, male or female. If the piece is especially something that deals with Islam and feminism and progressive interpretations of Islam and so on, I definitely make sure to write to the author right away. Now, ALL the responses I've received from these authors have been very pleasant and encouraging, except for this one! I won't name the author (maybe when I write a critique of the rather sweeping generalizations she makes and the rather superficial argument she offers in some of her works, for which she is renown anyway), but here's what happened:

I emailed her, just like I do all the others, and told her that I found this particular book of hers very interesting and bold and that I appreciate and and you get the point. I'd been told to watch out for her response because she is a very arrogant woman. She's extremely popular in the fields of women's studies, religious studies, Islamic studies, and sociology, so she thinks she's too good for us ordinary peeps, you know. Yeah, well, wait till I get up there one day, sitting right there shoulder-to-shoulder with her, and we'll teach her who's who! (I kid, I swear.) But anyway, so, her first reply was VERY nice ... but the next!! OMG!!! I had to read it like 5 times to make sure she'd emailed the right person; I also had to read MY OWN email that I'd sent her 5 times to make sure I hadn't instigated it. It was really discouraging. I won't disturb you with what her message said.

So I told my teachers about it (of course). I have very, very supportive teachers, and each one was like, "Were you surprised?" I was like, "HELL YEAH!!! She's a feminist, damn it! It was obvious in my email that I'm a woman. If anything, she should've shown some support!!! hah, so much for being a feminist, that mean old lady!" Another teacher told me this really interesting anecdote in which it was proven to him personally what kind of a person she is. (They all know her personally 'cause they've met in conferences or at some other academic gatherings.) Another of my professors assured me that she is known for having an "obnoxious personality," so it's nothing new and that I shouldn't let her words get to me.

Khair, it's over now. It was just REALLY upsetting, you see!

Oh, and when I told about the same thing to this other teacher (who also knows her personally, I think), she and I briefly talked about how discouraging it is to see female feminists hating on other women, or being jealous of other women, or not supporting other women. (She, too, classifies herself as a feminist, but, contrary to some women who CLAIM to be feminists, she is extremely supportive and is the type of woman who, when she sees a female student who deals with gender/sexuality/religion/music/ethnography/etc., goes, "Why don't I know yet? We should talk." She's really pleasant, and I've a lot of respect for her for many reasons, including her personality.) So she shared some examples of women feminists in our own institution rejecting other feminists for certain reasons, which I'd rather not share here.

Of course, I have personal examples of how some self-proclaimed feminists don't know even the basics of feminism and possess very superficial knowledge of feminist and humanitarianism and don't know how to treat other women. Those stories will have to wait for another time, though, yeah.

Oh wait! I MUST reiterate: I am a staunch feminist who believes in the rights of women, who believes that women should have the right to choose what's best for them (be that a face-covering), who believes that women are just as human as men are, and that being equal in merit does NOT mean being or looking the same. (You know how people sometimes go, "Excuse me, but how can you fight for the equal rights of women and men when the two are so obviously different?" Oh please. That's such a lame argument. An African man doesn't look the same as a Chinese man who doens't look the same as a Caucasian man who doesn't look the same as a Latino man -- why should all men have the rights that they have that are denied to women? Anyway, more on this later.) My point is that although *some* feminists are hypocrites to the core, that's not at all to claim that *feminists* are hypocrites. SOME are - not all, not many, not most.

k, that's all for now, folks!